Yesterday, I posted something on my personal Facebook page that I was honestly scared to post not knowing what reactions it might get. All of a sudden, a wave of comments and private messages started rolling in. I was actually surprised at how many people were feeling the exact same way, and it made me realize that we need to make a change in the way that we are all using social media in our daily lives.
The truth is, most of us post the good, the great and the spectacular and we forget about the bad and the ugly parts of our daily lives. Do you know the effect that this has on the people around us?
People tend to compare their lives with the lives of others, not knowing the other 95% of that persons life. Sure, they might be soaking up a beautiful view, but they also might be crying tears of sadness as they sit there.
It makes me so sad to think about the fact that everything we are posting online has a potential positive or negative effect on the people that are receiving our messages. It also makes me sad that I have unknowingly contributed to the problem. I’ve been feeling pretty blue the past few days, missing some friends and family, overall just feeling kinda lonely. I thought I was the only one who felt this way.
I was talking to a friend yesterday about this and she very honestly said to me:
“I thought your life looked perfect and that mine couldn’t ever compare, so I didn’t talk to you for a while”.
This stopped me in my tracks. She followed it up with saying that she thought my life was so different, until her and her husband traveled to actually see me and saw that we are actually still so much of the same person, just on opposite sides of the world. It was just as hard for her to be honest with me, as it was for me to hear it.
It’s always bugged me when people make comments like, “you’re over in Europe living the dream”.
They are so wrong. Silly me, if my posts seem to have conveyed that I don’t live an ordinary life like the average Joe, in my case, average Ginny, then I am failing at keepin’ it real and I aim to change that.
I’m just an American girl living in another country who is also a wife and a Mom. I still have lots of laundry to do and a house to clean every week, just like any other ordinary person.
For my non-online business friends, I know you see me on social media all of the time and the fact that I am there, it doesn’t mean that I am social media addicted, it means:
a) I live on social media because that is how I connect with people who want to pay me money and thus so I can pay my bills.
b) It means that people often might see the brighter parts of me, like when I have been featured somewhere or traveled to a conference. I fail at posting daily real life stuff because, well that sounds boring.
c) It means that most days I am lonely. Very very lonely. I long for co-workers or people that I can talk to. Making people laugh is my absolute favorite thing to do, so I really miss my work friends I have made over the years. I am currently sitting alone in a cafe and would rather I had a friend to share this time with.
For my online business friends, I know that you also know the struggle of all of the above is very real. But guess what? Your friends and family might not understand why your nose is in your phone or your email. They might not understand why you are posting about your course 5x a week, when you are just out there tryin’ to make money honey.
Some days, I feel like a super hero, but some days I suck.
It is important for all of us to show the good, the bad and the ugly parts of our lives. We are all struggling wth something and we don’t ever want our family & friends to think that we don’t need a phone call from them asking us how our days are, simply because they saw your Facebook post and assumed you were living a good life and didn’t need them.
Now, let’s chat more about my fabulous life here in Germany. I know, it’s a dream right. A lot of times it is, but you know what? I never moved here thinking it would be forever. We had a three year plan and we were going to move back to the states. Well three years came and went, and my husband loves his job and his job is here. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have never loved a job I went to full time until I became my own boss. So the fact that he loves his means that he isn’t in a bad mood when he comes home and it also means that we live here for quite possibly forever. FOREVER. Think about that for a moment. I have been away from my home country for almost six years, I get to see my Mom twice a year if I am lucky and my son really misses his Nana. The majority of my friends back home can’t take enough time off work to make a trip to Germany happen so they have no idea where I live, what my house looks like (it’s usually a straight up mess) or get to see the new cute thing Oliver is doing this week.
When I am at the playground each day with Oliver, I struggle with which language to speak to the other kids in because there are so many cultures here. There’s no Target here for this Mom (can you imagine)?! Sure, we have a nice life, but the majority of people just assume that I am over here living the dream and they don’t spend real time asking me how I really am. I am not one to complain and I really do believe that positivity breaths positive things. I choose to be happy and I choose to be positive, so that is what I post most about.
As an Online Business owner, we see so many successful people out there killing it and you know what, I am aim to kill it too. But I want to always make a conscious effort to keep it real. I want people to know my true struggles, to know that they are not alone, to know that being a human on this earth is hard sometimes and that it is okay to absolutely just quit Mondays like I did yesterday. So, what do you say? Are you with me when it comes to making an effort to be more transparent in your life and in your business (if this applies to you), if not just keep it real at whatever you do.
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I really enjoyed this post. So much of it rings true. Social Media often leads to relationship problems due to the distorted sense of reality!