You’ve probably heard the saying, “You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” While I do think this quote has a nugget of truth to it, I also think it comes from a different era… and definitely a different lifestyle.
For me, and likely for you, there is no more of this “5 people I spend the most time with.” We have communities, groups, and friends who meet us and connect with us over certain parts of our lives. We have work friends, we have biz besties, we have mom friends or PTA friends. We have our church families or our neighbors — we have all these circles that support us in one or two areas of our lives. But many of us work and play online… which means that we have a unique circle of inputs that the “old-school gurus” don’t give us a ton of perspective on.
But if you want to really level up in life, in business, in your relationships, you have to look at your circle. That’s what I showed you how to do in this recent podcast (and I’m recapping all my suggestions in writing here, too!)
We need to take a hard look at our circles
I know that you are on a journey of stepping into the bravest and boldest version of yourself. With that comes a lot of self-reflection, and perhaps some sacrifice. The hardest sacrifices that I have had to make on my own journey have been assessing my circles, the people I surround myself with.
Of course, the hard part comes when I’ve determined that someone in my circles isn’t really supportive or healthy for me. I want to spend time with those who make me feel like my very best… don’t you?? Truly, my friend, you deserve people who are championing your greatness, even if they may not fully understand what you are doing. Imagine if you are surrounded by people, influences, and energy that hold you back. What will happen to your big, dreamy goals then??
That is why we have to dig in, my friend. That is why we have to assess our circles. But what circles am I talking about? And where should you start? Don’t worry! I got you?
Circle One: What we consume
What we consume, is what we become. What does that even mean? Well, here are some examples:
- Social media: Have you noticed that Instagram and Facebook (especially in the climate of the world right now) are really affecting your mental health? Do you feel like you’re just doom-scrolling or trying to numb out to avoid bigger issues? Consider who you’re following and interacting with on these platforms. You have two choices with these accounts: unfollow them or mute their content until further notice (sorry, Aunt Mary, but you are just a little too extra for my greatness right now).
- TV and media: I cut out reality TV years ago. I found that I wasn’t getting energy from the hours I spent trying to disconnect by listening to women complain about their lives 24/7. The kind of media we consume affects our energy — and how does what you are consuming affect your energy? Do yourself a favor: assess the TV, Netflix shows, or other media you consume that leaves you feeling negative. And then cut it out!
Circle Two: Biz friends and relationships
Meeting people and making friends online is the best thing since sliced bread, am I right? I mean, I have met a few people who I couldn’t imagine my life without, people who have traveled across an ocean to spend time with my family and me in Germany. But it is important to know that growing your business isn’t a race or a competition.
So if you find yourself in a pack that you feel you’ve simply outgrown (an accountability group where half isn’t prioritizing it) then it is absolutely okay to excuse yourself. Spend time with those who you feel you can be in your own lane with, and who are super supportive. Most importantly, find people who you feel you can support right back, without it feeling heavy or competitive.
Circle Three: The “Friendship Inner Circle”
I know that friendships can sometimes ebb and flow, and keeping up with each other when lifestyles change is even harder. Parenthood and entrepreneurship tend to just add a little more crazy sprinkle on top; it’s all for the good, but it’s a lot to juggle! What I want here is for you to take a close look at how your inner circle is making you feel.
Make a list of each person you would consider to be an “inner circle friend,” like your BFFs, the friend you talk to every day, etc. Beside each person’s name, write how they make you feel when you are with them. Is there anyone who you dread getting texts from? Is there anyone who makes you feel defensive, or like you have to justify everything you do?
Those are the kinds of things that you may want to look for. The goal here is to identify who lights you up, who leaves you feeling like a million bucks, and who just completely vibe with when you are with them. Those are your high vibe friends, and you want to prioritize your time to be spent with them.
Let’s talk about the hard part: Letting people go
Earlier, I mentioned the word “sacrifice.” Why is that? Because sometimes, you have to sacrifice relationships with people when you realize they’re not on your level, or they just keep dragging you down.
I’ve had to let some people go in my life when they ended up feeling toxic, heavy, or I felt out of alignment with them. Now, what I mean when I say that, is that I am on a journey to really feel like my best self, not only for me but for my family, for my kids. And having relationships that feel draining just aren’t my thing anymore, when I have friends who love me, support me, and it feels like the easiest thing in the world. I think that’s what true friendship should look and feel like — no matter what “circle” they are in.
Whether you have…
- A few biz besties who light you up and help turn your dreams into action.
- A ride-or-die friend you spill your guts to.
- A handful of mom or community friends who understand your home life well.
Whatever your circles look like, awesome. Just make sure everyone who gets to be near you deserves to be near you. Make sure you’re giving as much as you’re taking, and vice versa.
Put yourself in the right circles
So, let me ask you: Are you surrounded by a support system in both your life and your business? Or do you have friends who don’t get your business and biz besties who don’t get your life?
That’s exactly why I created the Greatness Mastermind.
Because I found that women needed support in both their life and business, and it didn’t always have to be split for one or the other. With what has been happening this year, I am so glad this community of women has been there to have each other’s backs time and time again. And I am just so honored to get to be the creator of it.
If you are feeling called to connect with me about the Greatness Mastermind, then you can jump right over to the Greatness Mastermind page…
If you want that kind of support, clarity, and community, I am taking new applications for the Greatness Mastermind. Applications close on August 30, 2020, but you can schedule a fit call right now to find out if the Greatness Mastermind is for you.
For more insights on how to feel more rooted in yourself, your business, and your brand, make sure you’re subscribing to the Brave New You podcast!