To my first born, the boy who first called me Mom,
Oh, my heart, where do I even begin with writing this. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I could love another human being the way in which I love you, my son. From the moment I first held you, I knew that you were God’s work and that you were meant for me as much as I was meant for you. You’ll never know all the ways in which you’ve saved me.
From feeling lost due to loss and wondering if I’d ever feel pieces of me that I used to once feel again. I was certain it wasn’t possible. That is, until the day you called me Mom, the day you said “I love you,” and the first time you made me belly laugh so hard I nearly peed my pants. You, my sweet boy, are my most favorite person on this earth.
You taught me how to stop being selfish and how to truly love another human being with every ounce of my body, even in moments where I felt I no longer had anything left to give. You lift me up on my hardest days and you show me the wonders of the world that almost seem impossible today. Through you, I believe in a future that is brighter than any other.
As we approach becoming a family of four and welcoming your little brother, my heart has struggled with the idea of you and I losing our special bond and my deep worry that you won’t feel loved as much somehow, which I know is silly. If I can tell you only one thing, it’s that you changed my life. You changed me and my heart into someone that I wouldn’t have ever once recognized. From the deepest part of me, I will always love you and you will always be my first and truest love.
I know our lives are about to change, but as someone who adored having siblings, my hope is that giving you a brother is the greatest gift I could ever give you. There will be many times where you won’t share this same feeling, but as you grow older, you’ll know that your brother is your best and most loyal friend in this world. I know you will flourish in this new role because you have already shown how kind your heart can be.
I love you, my son. Thank you for loving me in return.